I hate this city.

I hate my mind.

I hate how its screwing me over and making me so lost inside.

I am so angry.

But so sad at the same time.

I wanna fight. But I also want to be held.

Kissed, pampered, loved, held high.

You want to help me? Leave me alone. Spare me from the inevitable end of me hating myself more.

I don't know who to blame.

I don't know if its just me or everyone else.

The voices in my head won't stop. The bottle appears to numb the pain.

I guess it is my fault. For holding on to everything that ever come into contact with me.

Thats not normal.

Right?

So what is normal?

Being close to someone and leaving them when you get bored? Is that normal?

Looking to be with someone only for physical satisfaction. Is that normal?

I guess one normal part of me still exists. The part that lets me know what the end would be like.

But the crazy twisted warped part says GO, cos we like it. Cos we sadistic. Cos we enjoy the hurt and the pain that comes with it.

So what the fuck do I do now.